Relationship Contracts

Relationship Contracts can bring clarity and success where there previously was none. This is especially true for those who are recovering from sexual abuse, substance abuse and/or are in relationships with a history of difficulties. With some creativity you can successfully use these simple steps with adults and children, marriages, romances, friendships and work/school peers. You may want to add your own touch to the attached forms to help bring them more alive for yourself and those who you may contract with. Try a little color, a drawing or smiley face here and there. Be sure to discuss, review, update and renew these contracts on a regular basis.

  1. "To Be In A Successful Relationship With Myself": Assists you in entering into a conscious relationship with the various parts that make up your whole self; being: physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, sexual, creative, behavioral, vocational. Start each point with the word "I" and state every thing in the positive. For example: "I eat right and get plenty of exercise" or "I engage in positive business practices." List every thing you can think of, then combine and narrow until you have no more than ten that cover all the essentials.

  2. "To Be In A Successful Relationship With Me": Assists you in consciously determining what you need and/or want from another person if they are to have a relationship with you. This is helpful while seeking a new relationship, starting one and/or redefining an existing one. Also helps you share this with the other person. Start each point with the word "You" and state every thing in the positive. For example: "You respect my need for space" or "You share your body freely with me." Again, list every thing you can think of then combine and narrow down no more than ten that cover all the essentials.

  3. "To Be In A Successful Relationship With Each Other": Assists you and another person in consciously developing a "blueprint" or "rules of engagement" in which both agree to abide to. After you have completed the previous contract, share this with your partner. Invite her/him to review it and then do their own. Now discuss and negotiate a joint contract specific to this relationship. Start each point with the word "We" and state every thing in the positive. Again, list every thing you can think of then combine and narrow down to no more than ten that cover all the essentials. Be sure both have a copy.

To Be In A Successful Relationship With Myself:

1.   I___________________________________________________

2.   I___________________________________________________

3.   I___________________________________________________

4.   I___________________________________________________

5.   I___________________________________________________

6.   I___________________________________________________

7.   I___________________________________________________

8.   I___________________________________________________

9.   I___________________________________________________

10. I___________________________________________________

Consequence(s) for following through/not following through with this contract:

______________________________________________________

______________________________________________________

Start Date: _________________ Review Date: _________________

Signature: _______________________  Date: _________________


To Be In A Successful Relationship With Me:

1.   You_________________________________________________

2.   You_________________________________________________

3.   You_________________________________________________

4.   You_________________________________________________

5.   You_________________________________________________

6.   You_________________________________________________

7.   You_________________________________________________

8.   You_________________________________________________

9.   You_________________________________________________

10. You_________________________________________________

Consequence(s) for following through/not following through with this contract:

______________________________________________________

______________________________________________________

Start Date: _________________ Review Date: _________________

Signatures: ____________________    _______________________


To Be In A Successful Relationship With Each Other:

1.   We_________________________________________________

2.   We_________________________________________________

3.   We_________________________________________________

4.   We_________________________________________________

5.   We_________________________________________________

6.   We_________________________________________________

7.   We_________________________________________________

8.   We_________________________________________________

9.   We_________________________________________________

10. We_________________________________________________

Consequence(s) for following through/not following through with this contract:

______________________________________________________

______________________________________________________

Start Date: _________________ Review Date: _________________

Signatures: ____________________    _______________________